As children approach critical milestones like school entrance exams, or public examinations, it's common for stress and overwhelm to creep in. I have seen exam stress affect children as young as 5 years old, marriages crumble and teachers and tutors bent double under sacks of emails/reports/mock papers/parent meetings. The stress seeps, burrows and permeates which can have long-term consequences on mental and physical health.
30% of children and young people talked to Childline about their mental or emotional health related to examinations.
According to 82% of teachers, tests and exams have the biggest impact on pupils’ mental health.
73% of teachers believe student mental health has worsened since the introduction of the reformed GCSEs.
55% of teachers believe that mental health has worsened among students since the reforms of the A-Level exams.
16.4% of the post-secondary students reported themselves to be ‘highly test anxious’.
It is why I focused my MA dissertation on the impact of independent school entrance exams on children and families. It is essential for parents, teachers, and children to develop stress management strategies. But how can we help children prepare to the highest academic levels and cope with this pressure in a healthy, manageable way?
Below, we’ll explore evidence-based techniques for managing stress, designed to empower us all during exam season. They say it takes a village to raise a child - in light of the growing demands of exams, I’d like to amend the proverb to ‘It takes a resilient village equipped with stress-coping mechanisms to raise a child.’
1. Breathing Techniques to Reduce Stress
Breathing is one of the most accessible and effective ways to calm the mind and body. Research from Harvard Medical School shows that slow, deep breathing can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing the fight-or-flight response associated with stress. The NHS and Mind advocate breathing to regain control. Most importantly, regular practice is key - commit as a family together, show your children you are using the breath to oxygenate and calm, modelling will help adopt the techniques - you will benefit and children are less likely to feel silly, or forget what to do.
Box Breathing Technique:
This simple yet powerful technique involves inhaling, holding the breath, exhaling, and holding again in a pattern of four counts each. It helps regulate the nervous system and can be especially useful during moments of overwhelm:
Inhale for 4 counts.
Hold for 4 counts.
Exhale for 4 counts.
Hold for 4 counts.
Repeat this cycle 4-5 times until you feel calmer.
Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing
This technique focuses on breathing deeply into your diaphragm (rather than shallow chest breathing), which engages the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress.
How to do it:
Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen.
Inhale deeply through your nose so that your abdomen rises (while your chest remains still).
Exhale slowly through your mouth, focusing on the rise and fall of your belly.
This mindful focus on the rise and fall of your belly is like creating a forcefield of peace and silence inside and pushing outside thoughts that overwhelm. They are silenced and unable to penetrate the Fortis Forcefield!
2. Physical and Mental Well-Being
Research from Stanford University emphasises the link between physical activity and stress relief. Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, which are natural stress fighters.
Physical Tips for Reducing Stress:
Move: Encourage your child (and you at the office) to take short, frequent movement breaks during study sessions. A 5-10 minute walk, stretch, or dance can refresh their mind and reduce tension. Mind and the NHS suggest that regular physical activity, even a simple 20-30 minute walk, can help reduce stress by releasing endorphins (the body’s natural stress relievers) and improving sleep quality. Exercise can also serve as a distraction from stressful thoughts. Just avoid vigorous exercise 30 mins before bedtime to avoid disturbing sleep.
Sleep: Make sure your child is getting 8-10 hours of sleep each night, as insufficient sleep can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and overwhelm with profound effects on health, well-being, and performance. Sleep Hygiene is important - establish a regular sleep routine, try not to differ at the weekends. Create A Relaxing Sleep Environment - dark, cool, quiet and tidy. Limit Screen Time Before Bed - Studies from King's College London show that exposure to blue light from screens (phones, laptops, tablets) before bed can disrupt melatonin production, the hormone responsible for sleep regulation. Avoid screens for at least 30 minutes before bedtime, or use blue light filters on devices. Mindfulness and Meditation Techniques - try a simple meditation 10 minutes before sleep and progressive muscle relaxation techniques (tensing your toes for 5 seconds and then release, relaxing into the ground, progressively moving up through the body to your face.) Avoid large meals and stimulants before bed - no tea or coffee, fizzy drinks or comfort food feasts.
Mental Well-Being Tips:
Positive Visualisation: Help your child visualise success. Mental rehearsal, imagining a successful outcome, has been shown to reduce anxiety and improve performance, according to studies from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) research.
The Calm Exam Room Visualisation: Ask your child to close their eyes and visualise themselves walking into the exam room, feeling calm, confident, and prepared. They imagine sitting down, taking deep breaths, and beginning the exam with clarity and focus. Visualising a calm environment helps reduce anxiety and creates a mental picture of success.
Success Visualisation: Your child imagines the moment when they successfully complete the exam, hand in their paper, and walk out feeling proud. They visualise themselves receiving their results and celebrating their hard work paying off. This can reinforce self-belief and create a positive association with the exam process. Research from Stanford University suggests that focusing on positive outcomes can reduce anxiety and improve performance.
Breathing in Confidence: Guide your child through visualising their in-breaths bringing in confidence and out-breaths releasing fear. With each inhale, they imagine breathing in calmness, confidence, and focus, and with each exhale, they release doubt, stress, and worry. This combination of breathing and visualisation grounds your child in the moment and provides a tangible sense of control. Mind advocates this technique for stress relief and focus.
The Safe Space Visualization: Your child creates a mental image of their "safe space"—a place where they feel comfortable, safe, and at ease. This could be a beach, forest, or even their bedroom. Get them to REALLY feel it. What can they hear? Smell of the sea? Warmth of the sand between their toes? When they feel overwhelmed, they can mentally return to this place, where they can relax and regain control. Research by the University of Oxford, suggests Safe Space Visualisation allows the brain to calm down from fight-or-flight mode, reducing stress hormones like cortisol.
Chunking Tasks: You can’t eat an elephant all at once! Breaking down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps can help reduce feelings of overwhelm. This approach helps make the study process less daunting.
Chunk by Topic: In maths fractions, algebra, problem solving or in English creative writing, SPaG, comprehension.
Chunk by Time: Experiment with optimum study periods ie. 30 minute chunks.
Summary Chunks: Read a section and summarise into bullet points, revision cards, voice notes.
Practice Question Chunks: Instead of attempting a whole paper, chunk by question type.
Use Timetables or Study Planners: create a revision timetable that divides subjects into daily or weekly chunks, ensuring a balance between subjects while allowing focus on specific topics. For example, allocate Mondays for maths, Wednesdays for English, and Fridays for science. Structured planning prevents cramming and promotes the steady absorption of material, reducing stress and last-minute panic. According to the Educational Psychology Review, effective time management reduces the cognitive load on students and helps them stay focused.
3. Gratitude as a Stress Management Tool
Practising gratitude is another excellent way to shift focus from stress to positivity. Research from UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center shows that gratitude can reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
Gratitude Exercise:
Each day, encourage your child to write down three things they’re grateful for. This could be as simple as "I’m grateful for my health" or "I’m grateful for my family." Focusing on the positives can help keep exam stress in perspective. I would encourage this as something for everyone in the household. It can unite and spark interesting conversations and insights. This could be everyone with their own journals, sharing around the breakfast or supper table or at random moments in the car. Consistency, though, is key - once a week is unlikely to have any meaningful impact.
Gratitude Jar:
Create a “Gratitude Jar” your child/the family can write things they are grateful for on small pieces of paper and place them in the jar. Each time stress rears, pull out one of the notes and be reminded of something positive. Get into the habit of constantly filling it with good things that are happening - a great report, amazing theatre visit, sports fixture.
This can help shift the focus from exam anxiety to positive thoughts, boosting emotional resilience and increase feelings of happiness and well-being
4. Stress-Coping Tools
Positive Affirmations:
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." – Henry Ford.
Confidence is vital and this is core to all of our Fortis group and individual tuition sessions. Encouraging the use of positive affirmations can help develop and maintain confidence during exam preparation. Phrases like “I am prepared” or “I can handle this challenge” have been shown to improve performance under stress, according to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) principles.
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship." – Louisa May Alcott
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
There is no limit to my potential. I can achieve anything.
I have nothing to fear. I don’t limit my challenges; I challenge my limits.
Mindfulness Practice:
Mindfulness techniques, such as short meditation sessions or focusing on the present moment, can reduce anxiety significantly. Harvard Health has shown that regular mindfulness practice can lead to lower levels of stress and anxiety, even in children.
Ways to focus on the present could be colouring activities, art, watching clouds and making shapes, put your worries on the cloud and let them float away, close your eyes and listen for two minutes - what do you hear, smell, feel?
Meditation:
The physiological and psychological benefits are well-documented. Meditation has been shown to physically change the brain, particularly areas involved in regulating stress. It has been linked to changes in the amygdala (which controls emotions like fear and stress) and the prefrontal cortex (associated with decision-making and emotional regulation). Over time, meditation strengthens these areas, making it easier for people to handle stress. Stress often fragments attention, making it difficult to focus on tasks. Meditation practices that involve focused attention can improve the ability to concentrate.
Meditation activates the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the "rest and digest" system, helping to lower heart rate, reduce cortisol levels, and promote relaxation.
We can become more aware of our emotions without judgement. This awareness allows for better emotional regulation and the ability to respond to stressors with clarity rather than impulsively.
Meditation fosters a deeper connection between the mind and body, increasing awareness of physical sensations, including tension, tightness, and shallow breathing.
“Where words fail, music speaks.” – Hans Christian Andersen
Music Boosts Mood and Reduces Stress Hormones:
Listening to music can lower cortisol levels, the stress hormone. Lowering cortisol can help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, which are often heightened during exam periods.
Distraction - a break from the rabbit hole of panic or frustration.
Release and lift - singing can significantly elevate mood and increase endorphin levels, reduce feelings of loneliness and depressions, leading to feelings of happiness and relaxation.
Music, particularly classical or instrumental music, can enhance cognitive function and focus. A study by the University of London evidenced that background music could improve concentration and help reduce distractions during study sessions.
Create your Study, JOY playlist, Sleep/relaxation playlist.
Take singing breaks.
Join a choir or as a family or friendship group - pick a song each around the dinner table or in the car - karaoke, everyone gets a turn for everyone to sing together. Sounds silly but try it, it’s bonding and fun singing your son’s favourite song and hearing him sing yours!
Mindful music - Focus on a piece of music, paying attention to its layers and rhythms.
5. Family Support
Finally, having a strong support system is critical for you and your child. Encourage your child to talk about their fears and anxieties, as bottling them up can lead to greater stress.
Mind encourages seeking support by talking to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or professional. Talking can help reduce feelings of isolation and allow for the exploration of solutions together.
As a family, you can:
Offer positive encouragement.
Avoid adding pressure.
Celebrate small wins during the preparation process.
Final Thoughts - Manage Exam Stress
The ecosystem of school entrance examinations can feel Darwinian, where only the most prepared, adaptable, and resilient students rise to the top. A modern-day 'survival of the fittest,' where thriving isn’t just about raw intelligence but mastering strategy, resilience, and determination. Remember that while stress may arise, it doesn’t need to control the journey. By focusing on actionable strategies families can foster resilience and reduce the burden. The goal isn’t to eliminate stress but to manage it, transforming it into a motivating force for success.
As author and mindfulness advocate Jon Kabat-Zinn wisely said, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
By equipping children with the right tools and a supportive environment, we help them navigate the inevitable challenges, turning stressful moments into opportunities for growth.
Just as Darwin’s theory teaches us that the fittest survive and evolve, this rigorous process builds the resilience and skills that will serve children in their future endeavours, ensuring that they are well-prepared for GCSE, A-Level and career challenges ahead. While our students secure exceptional offers, it's essential to remember that the beauty of growth lies in diversity—some children will forge their own paths, creating new rivers and even entire galaxies of opportunity. There’s no singular journey, only the courage to create and believe in their potential. That’s the real joy of working with such remarkable young minds.
At Fortis Education, we’re here to guide you every step of the way, providing both academic and emotional support. Together, we can help your child face exams with confidence, calm, and a sense of empowerment.
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